Friday, November 23, 2012

Fixing the Funk...

Quick Re-Cap: I haven't written much lately because I've been in a funk. Back story on the funk - I'm going to pursue going to seminary after graduating this summer. I asked my parents if I could live with them to save for grad school. They said I could pay them one dollar less than I pay in rent. Trying to fix our problems, I was explaining/defending/believing in a dream of mine to find out on twitter that I'd been passed up for the opportunity once again. Thus began the funk where I didn't pray or read my Bible for three weeks because I was mad at God for leading me down a dead end path.

One day, I realized that a few days of the funk had turned into a few weeks.  I hadn't prayed or read my Bible in three weeks.  I had let a few days of resentment toward God turn into a few weeks.  That was dangerous!  I was trying to keep a good Christian girl facade.  But, on the inside, everything was falling apart.  I didn't know who to turn to.  I couldn't tell anyone of what was going on because of this good Christian girl facade I had going on.  I cried in my car.  I cried in bed.  I cried when my roommate wasn't home.  I didn't want to do my homework, because being a Religion major means studying all there is to study about God.  Kind of hard to be a Religion major and be mad at God.

Pinned ImageAfter acknowledging that what I had slumped into was not okay, I began to cry out to God.  On my knees, calling out to him with tears streaming down my face.  I needed Him.  He hadn't left me though, I walked away from Him.  I couldn't go on another moment without acknowledging that I'd messed up and needed to get back to where He was.

I dove into my Bible.  I earnestly seek His Word every morning and pray continually.  I've been listening to old sermons at every moment.  I need to live and breathe His word.

So, in a funk?  You are spiritually choking.  Give yourself a good gut check.  Get back into the Bible.  Seek His counsel.  Acknowledge His goodness and kindness and accept His forgiveness.  I hope my openness this week has been able to guide you to a deeper love for our God.  We are human, and we make mistakes.  But, He loves us and He won't leave us.

1 comment:

  1. Keirstin, what truth you speak. It's so often I feel myself just blah and I realize it's because I haven't been in contact with my best friend, Jesus. Isn't that amazing?! And yet, He's still there when I go crawling back - every time.