Quick Re-Cap: I haven't written much lately because I've been in a funk. Back story on the funk - I'm going to pursue going to seminary after graduating this summer. I asked my parents if I could live with them to save for grad school. They said I could pay them one dollar less than I pay in rent. Trying to fix our problems, I was explaining/defending/believing in a dream of mine to find out on twitter that I'd been passed up for the opportunity once again. Thus began the funk where I didn't pray or read my Bible for three weeks because I was mad at God for leading me down a dead end path.
One day, I realized that a few days of the funk had turned into a few weeks. I hadn't prayed or read my Bible in three weeks. I had let a few days of resentment toward God turn into a few weeks. That was dangerous! I was trying to keep a good Christian girl facade. But, on the inside, everything was falling apart. I didn't know who to turn to. I couldn't tell anyone of what was going on because of this good Christian girl facade I had going on. I cried in my car. I cried in bed. I cried when my roommate wasn't home. I didn't want to do my homework, because being a Religion major means studying all there is to study about God. Kind of hard to be a Religion major and be mad at God.
After acknowledging that what I had slumped into was not okay, I began to cry out to God. On my knees, calling out to him with tears streaming down my face. I needed Him. He hadn't left me though, I walked away from Him. I couldn't go on another moment without acknowledging that I'd messed up and needed to get back to where He was.
I dove into my Bible. I earnestly seek His Word every morning and pray continually. I've been listening to old sermons at every moment. I need to live and breathe His word.
So, in a funk? You are spiritually choking. Give yourself a good gut check. Get back into the Bible. Seek His counsel. Acknowledge His goodness and kindness and accept His forgiveness. I hope my openness this week has been able to guide you to a deeper love for our God. We are human, and we make mistakes. But, He loves us and He won't leave us.