Last week, I was talking to some moms about my fear of marriage. I said something along the lines of, I haven't seen many people around me happily married people around me. Their response was to laugh out loud and say, "That is Cinderella, Keirstin!"
Well, the more I thought about that comment, the more bothered I was by it. I want to be happily married. I don't want a perfect marriage, but I want a happy one. I am not so naive to think that marriage is a sunny, daisy-lined, walk in the park. I know my husband and I will disagree. I know we won't always see eye-to-eye on everything. But, my heart desires a happy marriage. Psalm 37:4 says, if I delight in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart!
A happy marriage to me is a marriage that looks something like this; never going to bed mad at the other, praying together, serving one another, respecting one another, knowing how to effectively communicate with one another, and always loving one another no matter what is going on. A happy marriage to me is a God centered marriage. In a God centered marriage, a spouse does not lean on or depend on a spouse for anything, they lean on and depend on the Lord. The Lord provides. This way, no one is set on a pedestal and expected to do things that are impossible.
As the devil was beginning to get in my head, and I was beginning to think that I was out of my mind to be expecting these things in a marriage, I turned to the Bible. What does the Bible say about marriage?
Acts 20:35 says, It is more blessed to give than to receive. This tells me that I should serve my husband. I should give our marriage my all!
Philippians 2:3 says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves. This tells me that I should honor and respect my husband more than myself. I should value him more than I value myself.
Ephesians 5:22-33 is a guideline to a perfect marriage. If I follow what the instructions of this passage, I will be set to have a happy marriage.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is a beautiful description on what love is. If I love my husband like this, we are bound to be happily married.
I don't know what it was about the moms comment that upset me so much. But, I do know that no matter who laughs at me or who tells me it is ridiculous, I am going to hold out for a God-written, God-centered, happy marriage.
I'd like to thank the author of this post for helping me effectively communicate what I wanted to say about a happy marriage.
I have a happy marriage. It's doesn't mean that everything is 100% roses and sunshine all the time, but my husband and I love each other and know we'll be there for each other through that- so we are able to find joy in each other, even in the hard times.
ReplyDeleteShell,
DeleteThank you for your comment. It is great to know that this "happy marriage" that I desire exsists. I know it does, and it breaks my heart that others some don't seem it and aren't willing to wait around for it.
Oh, I like this. Hope you don't mind me sharing it on Twitter. I love your description of a happy marriage. It is crazy how easy it is to buy into how the world would have us think about marriage. Stopping by from SITS sharefest.
ReplyDeleteKacey,
DeletePlease do share it on Twitter. Thank you for stopping by from SITS.
It breaks my heart that people pay more attention to society than the Bible. When we are at the end of our life, we will stand before God, not those people who set the standards of current society. I am going to have to stand before God and answer to Him about my life, I am going to set my standards on His word!
I'd say you've got your focus on all the right things. Give, serve, include God. All wonderful things. Knowing that you play a part in whether a marriage is happy or not is huge. Too many people go into marriage thinking it's the other person's job to make them happy. It isn't. It's your job to make yourself happy.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would disagree on is going to bed angry. As one who has been married for 22 years, I don't think this works much of the time. Too often we are fighting simply because we are tired. Going to bed is the best thing to cure that. I believe the scripture is deeper than that. I believe it means to deal with conflict soon. To not let it fester. But trying fix things when you're exhausted often just leads to more hurt feelings.
Best wishes as you work toward the wonderful marriage you discuss here. You can make it happen. No matter what anyone says, if you want it enough to work for it, you can have it.
Stopping by from SITS.
Miss Robin,
DeleteThank you for your comment and coming from SITS. I appreciate what you have to say and am thankful for your encouragement to me.