Last week, I was talking to some moms about my fear of marriage. I said something along the lines of, I haven't seen many people around me happily married people around me. Their response was to laugh out loud and say, "That is Cinderella, Keirstin!"
Well, the more I thought about that comment, the more bothered I was by it. I want to be happily married. I don't want a perfect marriage, but I want a happy one. I am not so naive to think that marriage is a sunny, daisy-lined, walk in the park. I know my husband and I will disagree. I know we won't always see eye-to-eye on everything. But, my heart desires a happy marriage. Psalm 37:4 says, if I delight in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart!
A happy marriage to me is a marriage that looks something like this; never going to bed mad at the other, praying together, serving one another, respecting one another, knowing how to effectively communicate with one another, and always loving one another no matter what is going on.
A happy marriage to me is a God centered marriage. In a God centered marriage, a spouse does not lean on or depend on a spouse for anything, they lean on and depend on the Lord. The Lord provides. This way, no one is set on a pedestal and expected to do things that are impossible.
As the devil was beginning to get in my head, and I was beginning to think that I was out of my mind to be expecting these things in a marriage, I turned to the Bible. What does the Bible say about marriage?
Acts 20:35 says, It is more blessed to give than to receive. This tells me that I should serve my husband. I should give our marriage my all!
Philippians 2:3 says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves. This tells me that I should honor and respect my husband more than myself. I should value him more than I value myself.
Ephesians 5:22-33 is a guideline to a perfect marriage. If I follow what the instructions of this passage, I will be set to have a happy marriage.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is a beautiful description on what love is. If I love my husband like this, we are bound to be happily married.
I don't know what it was about the moms comment that upset me so much. But, I do know that no matter who laughs at me or who tells me it is ridiculous, I am going to hold out for a God-written, God-centered, happy marriage.
I'd like to thank the author of this post for helping me effectively communicate what I wanted to say about a happy marriage.