Yesterday

Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions.  At 7:45, the kids dadsends me an email and asks if we could have lunch.  I've never had lunch with him in the over a year that I've worked for the family.  I'm a nanny for two kids.  I was freaking out.  I was certain that I was getting fired.

Around 10:00, I confirmed with the kids mom that I was not getting fired.  I straight up asked her if I was getting fired because I was loosing my mind.  I needed to know what I was walking into.  The dad just wanted to have lunch with the kids.

We make plans to have lunch at the EpiCenter.  Kids and I are planning to ride the train into the city.  As the station announces one minutes until the train arrives, my mom calls me. 

I don't know what happened.  Chris has hurt himself and is in the hospital.  No one will tell me anything.

WHAT!!???  Chris is my 16-year-old baby brother.  I begin to panic.  I call the kids mom and tell her what is going on.  She tells me not to get on the light rail because I would have to ride it back and it'd take longer to get to the hospital.  We plan to meet with the kids so I can head to the hospital.  On the way to meet the kids mom, I get another call from my mom.

Keirstin, I hate to do this over the phone.....

overly long pause. Keirstin begins to think the worst. He is dead.

Chris tried to kill himself.  Your dad talked to him on the phone.

WHEW!

I thought we had already established that is what happened.  I guess not.  I drop the kids off with their mom and begin to head to the hospital.

I held my emotions in until the moment the kids got out of the car.  Then, I had a full on panic attack.  I couldn't breathe and I was crying hysterically, I was a hot mess.  I call my best friend and ask her to just talk to me so I could compose myself and be fit to drive.  We talk the entire way to the hospital.  I am so thankful to have her in my life.

My baby brother wrapped fish line around his neck and threw something out of the window hoping that it's weight would choke him to death.  What he threw out the window broke.  He called 911 at this point and realized that he needed help.  He has acknowledged that he doesn't want to go home immediantly. 

He has a bed waiting for him at another hospital in Charlotte.  We are waiting now for him to be transportted to the other hospital.  It could take up to five days. 

I want to thank everyone who prayed for me and my family and everyone who reached out to me via call, text or twitter.  Everyone's words were so kind and encouraging. 

Please continue to pray that he gets transportted sooner than later, that the doctors are able to help him, that he is willing to recieve the help and that my parents continue to stay calm through this.

Thank you everyone.  You are a blessing in my life.